


Inflicting Affection [Or Five Times Fili Failed to be Wooed, and the One Time He Was]

by littlebrownshoe (Wolfy_Tales)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Courtship, F/M, Fili feels more than a little threatened by all this, Kili secretly finds this all very great, Sigrid is honestly trying her hardest the poor lass, courting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-03-01 01:12:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2754032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfy_Tales/pseuds/littlebrownshoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started with a bouquet, which made Fili go in to anaphylactic shock. It was a clear sign of things to come, when it concerned a human attempting to court an oblivious dwarf.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inflicting Affection [Or Five Times Fili Failed to be Wooed, and the One Time He Was]

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit.

 

_A Filgrid one-shot where Fili's sanity becomes endangered in the name of love._

.

"Are those  _flowers_? How marvelous!"

Fili turned away from attempting to catapult a pan-fried potato at Kili's face with his spoon. He followed the high-pitched voice to Bilbo's dreamy expression in time to see the hobbit sigh. Then Fili's sharp eyes turned to the messenger who had just entered with a wild-looking bouquet of flowers and green. He recognized some of the flowers that grew wild around the mountain, but some looked entirely foreign.

The blonde prince expected it to go to any of the five other occupants at the table (even including Balin who was eyeing them curiously) before himself. So when the dwarf handed over the bouquet to him, and then a small note, Fili found all words gone.

"What does it say?" Bilbo asked eagerly, seemingly the only one not deeply unnerved at what was happening. Thorin was eyeing the flowers warily with a clear furrow between his eyebrows, Dis had her lips pouted in confusion, Balin was almost frowning as well, and Kili's wide eyes mirrored Fili's deep confusion.

Moving to put the foreign object away from his person, Fili tore open the envelope. His blue eyes quickly darted over the text, and then a second and third time for good measure.

"You're  _impossible_ ," Kili mumbled before he grabbed the letter and read it aloud for everyone: "'I, Sigrid Lady of Dale, do request Fili, Prince of the Lonely Mountain, to tea tomorrow morning in Dale.'"

"How romantic," Bilbo said with a laugh that sounded like a robin's call.

Fili was about to argue before he felt the familiar tickle of an upcoming sneeze. He had just enough time to let it loose in to his napkin instead of his elbow. He thought that was the end of it, but then there was another sneeze, followed by a third and fourth.

"Fili, have your hands always been that large?" Kili asked warily.

The dwarf looked down at his hands and noted they indeed were swelling alarmingly. And now that he thought about it, it was getting a tad difficult to breathe. Like he had been transported back five years ago, when he was on the mountainside bleeding out with his chest plate caved in.

"Get Oin!" Dis barked before darting to Fili's side.

.

It took two days for Fili to fully recover from the sudden allergic reaction. They deemed it was probably a result of some dragon snaps that had been put in the bouquet Fili had never seen before. Bilbo said they were all the rage in the newly constructed Dale as a snub to Smaug, but Fili did not care because his body had raged against it.

By the time he got out of bed, Fili vowed to put the entire experience behind him. It would not accomplish anything to mope and spur his uncle on further to follow through on his threats to the lass. She had sent a lengthy apology letter that Fili had just glanced over before shrugging and casting it aside.

The prince understood how embarrassing it was to be the older sibling and to still mess up. He almost felt bad for the light-haired girl, as she would no doubt be getting an earful from Bard and teasing from her siblings for years to come. She had only been attempting kindness and had nearly killed the heir instead.

Fili thought that would be the end of it, but oddly enough the next thing Fili received was a great barrel of trout. Fili and Kili had stared at all the glassy eyes and the pungent smell in naked horror. They still remembered all too clearly about getting stuffed in yet another barrel, this time with the company of dead fish. The blonde clearly remembered how he still smelled like seafood for days afterwards.

The blonde dwarf felt his shoulders square and his teeth grind, thinking this some prank from Bofur or another. Then Bilbo was thanking the man politely and taking the offered card.

"I believe it's from Sigrid again," the hobbit said, handing over an envelope that did seem quite familiar.

His annoyance was not initially curbed, but Fili opened the envelope and let Kili read over his shoulder for what it said. Nothing much, other than a long-winded apology again and hopes that they would enjoy the fresh food.

"Me and Bombur, we'll cook these right up," Bilbo exclaimed happily before waving for the princes to get the barrel moving. Truly, only he could order them around without getting any retribution.

Fili did not like fish very much, but decided to try it that evening. The blonde happily found he enjoyed the fillet and tucked in to it enthusiastically. Or at least he did, until he began gasping around a rib bone lodged in his throat. It did not seem so small or delicate anymore, but at least he was not in threat of death this time around.

"Oh dear," Bilbo sighed around Kili's joyous laughs and Fili's wheezing. "Just keep sucking on lemons, and it'll pass along."

.

Fili eyed the simple package that had an innocent outward appearance of white cotton string and brown paper. Kili was blessedly away at the moment, leaving Fili all the freedom to tentatively stare and wait to see if this supposed 'gift' was exactly that.

Straightening his shoulders and flicking back his braids, Fili decided that this was no way for a future king to act, and so strode purposefully over to the object. It was heavier than it felt, but it was clear whatever inside was soft from its pliancy in his hands. It gave Fili enough courage to rip away the paper.

The blonde prince did not really have any set expectation, but when he pulled out the deep, rich burgundy scarf it was not that. Distracted from earlier doom, Fili's rough fingers embedded themselves in to the thick material.

Turning it this way and that, Fili tensed when a small letter fluttered down from the knitted folds. He stared at it for a moment (no it did not explode, or start exuding a deadly gas, or open up to reveal an orc) before reaching forward and ripping it open.

_Prince Fili,_

_In a reflection to how our people help each other through winter together, I took wool sheered from our farmers and treated by your spinsters to made you a scarf. I truly hope that you find enjoyment in the article._

_-Sigrid, Lady of Dale_

Fili cast aside the letter and put the scarf on, patting it appreciatively. It was nowhere near as fine as Ori's patterns and work, but the scribe did have more than a few decades on her just like Fili did. It was obviously not Sigrid's fault she would always be seen as a spring sapling compared to them.

"Well, it hasn't choked me yet," Fili mumbled to himself exited his chambers. He was once again going deep in to the belly of the mountain, where their heating did not shake off winter's lingering claws. The scarf would help keep the beads warm and his hair out of the way.

.

"What if we find, say, an army of Smaug's hatchlings down here?" Kili asked in a hushed whisper.

Fili gave him a dry look (which was entirely mute in the near-darkness), but the statement had Bofur and Bifur chortling as they moved ahead of them.

"Aye lad, because who knows what could be down here after all those years," Bofur agreed in a hush.

The blonde huffed and rolled his eyes, and focused on the thick white moss that grew on the cavern's wall. It was fascinating to see that even the moss refused to be green in their kingdom. His distraction was the reason Fili did not jump away when Bofur turned around and swung his torch in glee to get a rise. 

Fili had been slowly regrowing his beard just like Thorin after reclaiming the mountain, and was quite proud of it. Unlike Kili who still glared at his chin every morning in the mirror, Fili's was coming in quite bushy and golden. He had very high hopes for it.

Until he belatedly realized that the scarf had caught aflame from the torch, and so had his regal facial hair.

So after Kili screamed, and Bofur realized just what he had done, they rushed him off once again to Oin. The old dwarf shook his head before somberly saying there was nothing he could do about regrowing a beard just burnt off. The impressive inches Fili had so painstakingly grew would have to return the natural way.

Fili hung his head in sadness, and bitterly thanked whatever curse he had that at least his mustache remained intact.

Thorin and Dis's frowns matched each other when they saw how short his beard was once again. If there was any silver lining, it was how Kili seemed gleeful and more chipper than usual. He was no longer alone in lacking majestic whiskers.

After dwarves kept staring and whispering wherever he went, Fili made a royal decree of explanation. That he had not sheered his beard in shame, or mourning, but that it had rather unexpectedly caught aflame with the help of a dastardly scarf.

.

Fili thought himself the pinnacle of what a prince should be: dashing, polite and charming with a wink always at the ready. He treated everyone equally, and never for once let gold or jewels cloud his judgement. Being raised in near poverty helped him in way he had never expected.

Tauriel even stated that the elves favored him over Thorin, if only for his lighter blonde hair. She explained to Fili's frowning face (because elves liking him was more than a little odd) that while it was not a true blonde color, it was the best they had seen of a dwarf so far.

So really, it was quite uncharacteristic when Fili took the envelope from Balin, marked once again from that young human, and only took a moment to grimace before stomping closer to the fireplace. The letter was only saved by a sudden side-tackle from Kili.

"Don't be rash!" Kili exclaimed in a laugh as he retrieved the thick envelope and danced out of Fili's grasp.

"I would strangle you, but then I would have to deal with Mum," Fili muttered in to the warg fur rug before standing with a huff.

"It's  _poetry_!" Kili said in a voice much too loud for indoors.

Bilbo was the only one looking away from his breakfast with a badly concealed chuckle, as his two older family members blessedly kept eating their breakfast. But Thorin had that frozen face that meant he was trying very hard to hide something (he had a really bad poker face for being a king), and Dis' shoulders were shaking.

"All the more reason to  _burn it_ ," Fili informed as he tried to fight off his dark-haired brother's attempts to read on.

Fili ignored Bilbo's explanation about poetry being part of hobbit courtship (and wow even the tips of Thorin's ears were red) to attack his brother. After a few rough moments, Fili finally managed to wrestle the packet of pages from a madly grinning Kili. To assert his dominance, Fili stuck his tongue out at him before going back to breakfast.

Fearing that Kili would side-tackle him again if he made a move for the fire again, Fili simply put the pages in his tunic for another time to burn.

.

A day of working later, and Fili returned to his private quarters full from supper. He barely had enough mind to take off his boots at the door before stumbling in for a bath. As much as he wanted to dive straight in to his bed, Fili would never commit such a heinous act of rubbing all this grime in it. He, like many dwarves, reviered his bed to comfort and prepare him for another day of hard labor.

The pages fell out as he began undressing, and Fili found himself staring at them before sighing and bringing one forward. As he let the water fill up with steaming water, he read through the lines.

Kili was correct about this being poetry, if prose as bad as this could be called that. Well, at least it was not causing him bodily harm like Sigrid's other presents.

Fili had seen some other verses (well, sunk in to uncle's room and found them accidentally and giggled over them with Kili for a good hour), and even hers were worse than his besotted uncle's. Her metaphors were harsh, the wordings stilted and awkward.

He snorted at her inability, and then found himself feeling instantly guilty. Because Fili knew how Sigrid had grown up without finesse or anything extra and extravagant in her life as much as him. She had to spend her time between keeping her family fed and warm over things like boys and dresses. Fili remembered the short time he had stayed there, and how hardened Sigrid was in contrast to her round, youthful face.

Now the blonde looked at the text with a slight chuckle, thinking that these rough but earnest words fit her. Fili also imagined this must have been dreadfully embarrassing for someone so level-headed, and he found his chuckle growing.

Fili's thoughts were torn away from the human lass when he saw the tub was just about to be too full. He rushed to fold the paper back, and nearly yelped when he felt the sure pinch of a paper-cut.

Groaning, the blonde looked at the small beads of blood before finally moving forward to turn off the tub. He did not think much of the minuscule cut as he finished undressing, but once he was in the water and lathering up, Fili felt the tiny cut. The stinging from the soap was not painful, but was definitely annoying.

The next morning, before joining family breakfast, Fili went to Oin to get the paper-cut disinfected and wrapped. Despite the healer's odd frown at the request, Oin only shrugged before attending to it. Fili could admit the request was quite ridiculous, but he was not going to take the risk of getting an infection over this.

.

Fili could easily admit if he thought a lad or lass pretty or handsome. He thought Bilbo was quite fetching, and that Bofur's mustache matched his personality and cheer perfectly. He could appreciate the soft curls his mum had at the sides of her face, or the swell of a dwarrodam's hips.

But it was still a little difficult to pinpoint just how he thought Sigrid to be so pretty, when she was the opposite of what he was accustomed to. From the roundish face, to the tall and thin figure, to her hair that shone brighter than any dwarf, elf or hobbit. Dark kohl rimmed her eyes, something that was more common with dwarves who came out from mining coal for hours on end than lasses of the higher courts looking to be pretty. Her dress also hung looser on her frame unlike the dwarrowdams, who emphasized their curves at any situation.

The only thing that was remotely familiar about Fili's standards of attractiveness was the small braid that wrapped around her head like a crown. The rest of it was loose, her curls soft and calming unlike the usual chaotic bunching of some dwarves like his uncle.

Fili told himself not to be blinded by something that shined and glittered (like his grand-father had been with jewels and gold). It was easy to do, when he reminisced just how much annoyance she had given him with her gifts. He had half a mind to go tell Sigrid off, but that was extremely rude and he did not want to further the crack between their two races.

Fili tried to avoid her, but Sigrid inevitably found him out. She approached him with Kili, her hand in the crook of his younger brother who Fili was suddenly very angry with. Such mutiny made his heart almost hurt. (If Kili had a beard, Fili would threaten to cut if off.)

"Someone wants to dance with you, brother," Kili said with a smirk that nearly split his face.

Just as it was rude to tell Sigrid to stop with the gifts (and consequent pains), it would be rude to refuse her hand for a dance.

"It would be my pleasure," Fili said as he offered her a hand.

Sigrid gave a tentative smile before she was roughly pushed by Kili, who then disappeared as suddenly as they had arrived. Sigrid put her longer, but much daintier, hand in Fili's and he pulled them to the polished wooden dance floor.

.

Sigrid kept stepping on his toes, and Fili remembered back to when they still did not have their mountain. When he worked in smiths with men, who were uncaring of trampling on his feet. Of when he was on the road, and Dwalin had jokingly startled all the ponies to stamped him. All those times had made his toes cry out, despite his hearty boots.

But this was something else entirely. Because she had these odd things called 'heels,' if Fili remembered correctly. The evil footwear centered all her weight in fine wooden points that dug in to his tender feet. For someone who appeared so lithe, Sigrid did have some weight to her steps.

Fili noted Sigrid's dedication to doing better by her bit off curses and flush in her cheeks. The problem was that the young woman had her eyes focused on her feet, making them even more tangled and useless.

"Everything alright?" Fili asked, hoping to distract her enough to look up from her shoes. Maybe if she was distracted she would find the flow in the melody and find her grace.

"I'm sorry I'm not very good at this," Sigrid sighed, her eyes flashing up to meet his.

Fili hummed, wondering what color he would call her eyes. They seemed blue, but in this lighting they also had a grayish tinge to them. It reminded him of when he saw ravens in the sun.

"You just hide how bad I am, is all," Fili countered, even if truthfully he was quite graceful with the right partner.

Blessedly the dance ended for something a little more up-tempo, and Sigrid's eyes flicked to his once again in glee. She kept Fili's hand grasped in hers and pulled him to sit in the line forming opposite of the one she now stood in.

"We have melodies like this one for the summer harvest festivals. We call them line dances," Sigrid said as she looked down the two lines of dwarves. Her head shot comically above all others. Fili did not think it unbecoming, and instead a little endearing.

This time she understood the steps a little better, although she still faltered a few times. With her height it made her blunders with everyone else's synchronized movements all the more obvious, but it never hurt to have a prince by your side to glare away all the snickers.

Fili decided that if she was to come back, he would get Balin to properly teach her. Because his toes had taken all the abuse they could for a lifetime.

.

Fili watched as Bain hopped along rocks, Tauriel trailing a little behind him to watch the boy with a smile. Kili trotted along behind, clearly a little disappointed that the attentions of his elf were elsewhere.

While Fili favored exploring outside to getting stuck in a stuffy room with the strong personalities of Thorin and Bard, looking after the human's kids were just as dull. And a lot more useless, as it they were all well behaved youths from what Fili had experienced. Yet no sooner had that thought passed did Fili hear a shrill yelp, and turned to see little Tilda tip off one of the rocky outcroppings with pinwheeling arms.

Sigrid, bless her rash human heard, did not wait a moment before diving right after her.

Fili found himself stunned still, gaping as he realized that yes: Sigrid had just willing jumped to her own death for her younger sibling. Snapping out of his daze as he saw, too, Tauriel leap down, Fili joined Kili at the side to peer down in concern.

But, bless his rejuvenating beard, the two humans had managed only to fall some way down before landing on an outcropping. Fili did not see any large amount of seeping red, as Sigrid started to loosen her arms around her sister. It seemed that from Tilda's cries she was sobbing out more in shock than pain. Tauriel looked up and waved once, signaling they were all fine, before crouching back down to the two lasses.

"That could've been worse," Kili sighed from beside him. "Can you imagine what Uncle would have done to us had we let the humans in our protection willingly fall off a cliff? We'd be disowned!"

"And left out for Bard to do what he would," Fili added.

Both brothers shivered as Bain mumbled something about their idiocy that was only outdone by his sisters.

Once Tauriel had carried them both up one at a time, Fili allowed Bain and Kili to attend to a sniffling Tilda and went to Sigrid. She had some scrapes, her clothes dirty and torn from the rocks, but Sigrid had never looked more lovely to Fili.

"You're truly alright?" Fili asked as he offered his hand to help her stand.

"Yes, thank you," Sigrid said as she took Fili's hand and stood up on slightly shaky legs.

She let go of his fingers, and began patting down and straightening her clothes. Fili tensed his fingers at his side, thinking that he wished she had not let go.

.

"That was very heroic of you," Fili commented as he sat down on a chair beside the one Sigrid perched upon.

They had gone back in to the mountain and headed straight for Oin, before Bard or Thorin could hear about what had happened. It would be impossible to hide the bandages on Sigrid's hands in her wild attempts to grab purchase on the rocks, or the sprained ankle on Tilda, but if they were all bandaged up hopefully the rulers would not be too hard on everyone.

Sigrid turned to him, a smile and blush blooming across her cheeks at the praise.

"You understand the need to protect a sibling at all costs," Sigrid said.

Fili hummed, and reached for her hands that had just been cleaned and wrapped in clean white linen. Kili, Tauriel and Bain had taken Tilda to her room, as she wanted a nap after all the excitement. Sigrid had waved off the younger girl's offers to stay, and had parted her with a kiss on the forehead that Fili almost cooed at.

Sigrid did not pull her hands back in to her lap, and Fili smiled as her grip on his hand tightened. Thinking it a good sign if any, he lifted her right hand to place a light kiss to the inside of her wist.

She gasped at the kiss, and squirmed a bit, but she did not pull away. So Fili did the same brief press of lips to the inside of her left wrist. Sigrid giggled this time, either from nerves to cope with this intimate display, or because his beard tickled, but Fili did not care. All that mattered was the smile and blush that was still present. The way her fingers curled around his confidently.

"Shall we discuss about entering a formal courtship now?" Fili asked when he looked back up to her eyes of stone blue.

"I would like that very much," Sigrid said as her smile diminished in to something a bit more shy.

Fili found that he rather enjoyed making this usually stoic girl smile like a maiden in love. He found the entire situation, and Sigrid especially, to be quite endearing. Fili thought that maybe he was now in more trouble than all those trials before, but quickly waved aside the thought.

"For dwarves, actions speak louder than words," Fili explained as he pointedly glanced down at their joint hands. "And your jump over that cliff side has me similarly falling."

.

Now that Fili was the one initiating the courting, the entire situation flowed much more smoothly. There was not not one brush with death or drop of blood.

He made her practical things, like kitchen knives and a small dagger to hide in her boot if anyone should try and harm her. Fili helped pierce her ear lobes and cartilage (she had only flinched and bit her lip, which was drastically better than Kili who had hollered directly in Fili's ear), so she could wear glittering earrings and cuffs at the tips.

Fili bought her rich silks and threads, and asked Ori to teach her some of their techniques and iconic patterns. He introduced Sigrid to the kitchen staff, and Bombur seemed interested in exchanging recipes and tips. Fili asked Kili and Tauriel to teach her how to use a bow, so if one day she had to fight, the slight human did not have to be in the thicket of it. Or, at least Fili wanted to start on something simple before forcing swords in to her hands.

Fili enjoyed the nights he got to see Sigrid, even if the intimidating presence of Thorin and Bard acting as their guardians was rich at times. Thankfully Bilbo was there to cut the tension between the two rulers before either did anything rash. Like declare war on each other and force Fili and Sigrid to hide away like secret loves. Or just abandon everyone and create a kingdom of two.

(Fili told Sigrid about that fantasy, and she had laughed outright for a good five minutes. The blonde dwarf had just smiled like a loon from making her so entertained so easily.)

After an exhausting day of growing throne responsibilities Thorin gave Fili, it was a welcome distraction for Fili to find Sigrid and her Da waiting to dine and then sit about afterwards. Fili lead Sigrid to sit at the couch by the fire with him, while their two guardians dealt with scrolls and treaties at the dinner table that had been recently cleared.

Tonight Fili presented her with hair clips, as he had noted that her silky locks had some trouble at times holding fast in braids. Fili had tried doing the braids tighter, but then they were uncomfortable for the lass. They were simple in design like she preferred, made of a silver alloy with only a small pearl on each for decoration. Yet Sigrid sighed at them like they were the most precious things she had ever seen.

"I don't know whether I ought to fancy you more with each thoughtful gift, or hate you more in spite to protect my pride. You do this so easily, while apparently all I gave you were horror stories to carry," Sigrid said as she safely pocketed away the clips in her vest and indulged Flii with a lovely smile.

"It wasn't  _so_  torturous," Fili said kindly as he reached for her hand.

But he felt Bard's sharp look, and Fili thought better of it. Sigrid looked from him to her Da sitting somewhere over his shoulder (so Bard _was_ glaring), before huffing and taking Fili's hand in hers.

"I'll just use my brute force for better means," Sigrid said as she used her other hand to grasp his as well, successfully pinning Fili's right hand between both of hers. It was interesting, to note that even with both hands she could not completely blanket one of his.

Fili should feel claustrophobic, as the girl who had threatened his safety and sanity was holding his dominant hand tightly. Instead, Fili reminded himself that he was practically ambidextrous as a result from favoring dual swords. So it would not be the end of the world if he were to lose one from another bizarre string of events.

And what was giving a hand away, when it was in exchange for love?

.

FIN


End file.
